Bittersweet Refrain
by LadyofSpain
Summary: Edward left. Bella married Jacob. After 9 yrs of absence,Edward shows up on their doorstep. A heartbroken Jacob overhears Bella tell Edward that she still loves him. Jacob sadly admits that he was her second choice. He decides to move out, but Bella has a shock for him.


**Bittersweet Refrain**

By Lady of Spain

Disclaimer: S. Meyer is the proper owner of these characters.

"Honey, can you get the door? I'm changing Aaron's diaper," she yelled from the kids' room.

"Sure, sure." I felt a little uneasy as I went through the living room to answer the door. A long forgotten scent wafted toward me, that sickeningly sweet odor. I hadn't noted it in the air—at least this particular scent for nearly nine years. Yet, here it was literally at our doorstep.

I opened the door and even though I knew he would be standing there, it still was a bit unnerving. Edward, freakin' Cullen in all his unchanged glory gazed at me blankly.

He still looked the same, his pale face, his bronze hair, and those golden eyes—all the same—as if time stood still for him. In a way, I guess it had. Edward was trapped in his forever-seventeen year old body.

He smiled shyly, nodded, and simply acknowledged me. "Jacob . . ."

I opened my mouth—stunned as I was—to answer. I knew he hadn't traveled all the way here to visit me. So, opening the door a little wider, I motioned for him to step inside. "C'mon in; have a seat. I'll get Bella for you." What else could I do? Bella would never forgive me if I turned him away, but in my heart I knew I would regret this.

He sat down on the couch while I went to the boys' bedroom. I dreaded telling Bella the news. I stood awkwardly in the doorway, watching her.

She had Aaron cradled in her arms, with Liam tugging at her jeans wanting her attention. Carlie was in the other bedroom, playing with the dollhouse I had made for her last Christmas.

She finally looked up and noticed me standing in the doorway, with an expression of fear on my face. I must have seemed as pale as Edward at that moment. All the insecurities from my younger years came rushing back. I always felt that I was her second choice and even though I knew that, I married her anyway. She was so dear to my heart that I couldn't have lived for more than a minute without her love.

"Who was that at the door?" She asked. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

The shoes on my feet somehow became the focus of my attention then. I stared at them, not able to look her in the eye. "It's an old friend of yours to see you," I stammered. "He's waiting in the living room."

Bella was visibly flustered; one hand wrapped around our tiny bundle, the other threading through her hair. She bent down, glancing in the mirror on our dresser. "Oh, god, look at me. My hair's a wreck. I don't have any makeup on either. Why do people always show up when you look your worst?"

Liam continued to pull on her pants leg, whining. "Not now, Liam, mommy's busy. Jake, can you please take him and see what he wants? Liam . . . you need to go to Daddy. Go on." She gave him a gentle push in my direction.

She turned and placed a now sleeping Aaron in his crib. After covering him in his blanket, she stood in front of the dresser mirror again and smoothed the wrinkles out of her shirt. Reaching for her hairbrush, she proceeded to run it through her thick mahogany locks. Bella looked fine to me. She was always attractive in my eyes at least.

Picking Liam up, I pressed him to my shoulder, gently nuzzling his soft rounded cheek. I gazed at my beautiful wife, and quietly muttered, "I'll take Carlie and Liam out to the backyard so you can have some privacy." Her brows knit together, puzzled at my comment. I didn't tell her that my keen sense of hearing would pick up every syllable they uttered anyway. I wondered if she would remember that when she was under Edward's hypnotic spell.

I put coats on the kids and walked them out to the backyard. I pushed them in the swings and caught them at the bottom of the slide. All the while, I was nervously listening for the conversation in the house.

I heard Bella gasp as she caught sight of Edward and the squeak of the couch as he stood up. He laughed softly. "You haven't changed much. You're as lovely as I remembered. You still smell like my Bella, too."

"And you're still the same," she marveled.

"I hope you don't mind me coming by. I was in the neighborhood and I just wanted to see for myself that you moved on . . . that you were happy and fulfilled . . . and I see that you are."

The strain in Bella's voice had me on edge. She hesitated. "Edward, what about you? Did you ever marry?"

"No . . . I could never find another girl like you. You're very special . . . one of a kind."

She spoke in a hushed tone. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's my own fault. I suppose I've never really sought out anyone because I can't stop loving you, no matter how hard I try. I ensured my own unhappiness the day I left. The stupidest thing I ever did was to leave you in that forest. And now I've come back too late. You'll always be the biggest regret of my existence, Bella. The truth is I love you still."

Then I heard Bella's voice as she replied, "I've never stopped loving you either." A sniffle sounded.

My heart was crushed by that statement. I had hoped that I made her happy. Was it all a lie?

Edward's voice returned. "Well, at least there's that. I better go now. You have a family to take care of. But before I leave, would you mind if I peeked at your new baby?"

Footsteps sounded down the hall to the boys' bedroom. "May I hold him," he asked.

"Sure."

Tiny baby noises filled the air as Aaron was jostled, being lifted into the arms of her ex vampire love.

"This little fellow looks so much like Jacob. He has your eyes though. He sure is a handsome boy, just like his father. Rosalie will be so jealous when I tell her. I envy you—but most of all I envy Jacob. Money can't buy what you two have in this home."

The last thing I heard him say was, "I wish you only the best, Bella." The crib mattress squeaked again as the weight of our baby nestled onto the mattress.

The rustle of her blouse indicated that he had given her a hug, and then the hinges on the door creaked as he left the house. The next thing I knew, Bella's feet flew over the tiled floor and into our bedroom. Her sobs rang out, and my soul cried with her.

After a while, her crying stopped, so I sent Liam and Carlie back inside to their mother. I collapsed, sitting down on the cold, hard ground in the yard; those long ago feelings of disappointment and rejection surfacing once more. The painful weight in my chest rendered me immobile. Why did he have to come back? Why?

An hour must have slipped by, and I was still sitting there. Bella finally came outside looking for me, her eyes red and swollen. "Dinner's ready, are you coming?"

I lied. "No . . . I'm not hungry. I'm gonna sit here a while longer."

Carlie came bounding out the back door then. Leaping into my arms and kissing my cheek, she exclaimed, "Daddy, daddy—mommy made us tacos! I like tacos."

I patted her back. "You go eat, pumpkin. Daddy's gonna eat later."

She scrambled out of my arms, but turned suddenly and looked at me. "Why are you so sad? I don't like it when you're sad, so don't be sad, okay?"

Trying to smile, I answered, "It's all right, sweetheart, go and eat your dinner now."

The kids were all bathed and tucked into their beds. Bella padded out to where I was sitting and sat down beside me.

I broke the silence. "You still love him, don't you?" My voice cracked as the words tumbled from my lips.

She nodded her head. "Yes."

I swallowed hard, the lump in my throat making it difficult to speak. I held my head in my hands. "You should probably keep the kids with you. They need their mother. I'll move out whenever you give the word."

She twisted her neck toward me as she replied, "What are you talking about?"

"You don't have to pretend anymore, Bells; I overheard what you said in there. You regret marrying me, don't you? I always knew I was second best, but I thought you would forget about him and learn to love me. I really didn't mind being your second choice, as long as I could have you for my own. Just fooling myself, I guess."

Pulling my hands away from my face, I sighed and placed them on the ground between my legs. I looked down at them fisted rigidly there. Bella reached over taking them from me with one of her hands.

With her other hand she lifted my chin, and turned my head so that we faced each other. Her chocolate eyes burned intently into mine. "You were _never_ my second choice, Jake. You were my only real choice, the natural choice. I still love Edward in a way, but I could never love him the way I love you. He was a fairy tale, and you're flesh and blood.

"You're part of me. We have three children, for crying out loud. Do you think for a minute, I would let their father drift away from them? They're the result of our love for each other. It's our love walking around outside of us."

I didn't understand. "But you were crying your eyes out. You can't deny that."

"I love you, Jacob. I will never regret the decision to marry you. I cried for Edward because he hasn't found a love like ours in his pitiful life. I felt guilty knowing that I caused him so much pain. Those tears—were tears of pity."

She let out a frustrated sigh. "Jacob Black, don't you ever think about leaving me. I wouldn't last a day. I'd have to hunt you down and beat you with that crowbar you're always going on about."

My heart was suddenly bursting with emotion. My nagging fear of losing her faded away like a wisp of smoke in the wind. I could feel the tension in my body drain away and my lungs expelled all the air out in one loud whoosh. Closing my eyes, I breathed in her scent. And with tears threatening to spill, I took her in my arms, holding her like I would never let her go. I let our lips seal the words that were spoken. Bella was with me; she was mine, for always.

Then my stomach intruded on our passion with a rumble that couldn't be ignored. I smiled at my beautiful wife. "Are there any tacos left?"

I wrapped one arm around her waist as Bella playfully slapped at my shoulder. We entered our home together—the Black residence—our little piece of heaven on earth. With an angel at my side, how could I ever doubt it?

The music of my baby's cry cut through the quiet. I smiled. All was right in my world once more.

**The End**


End file.
